Desserts

The darkest, moistest chocolate sheet cake: cocoa, buttermilk and oil, with a cup of hot strong coffee poured into the batter last so it goes thin as soup. Baked at 350 degrees in a 9 by 13 pan with a fudgy cocoa frosting. Nobody tastes the coffee.

A moist three-layer carrot cake with the secret ingredient: a can of crushed pineapple, drained but not squeezed dry. Finely grated carrots, pecans, cinnamon, oil, baked at 350 degrees, with a thick cream cheese frosting. Exact amounts, pans and times.

Old-fashioned chocolate sauerkraut cake: rinsed, squeezed, finely chopped sauerkraut folded into a dark chocolate sheet cake, baked in a 9 by 13 pan at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes, with a quick cooked cocoa frosting. Nobody tastes it; everybody guesses coconut.

A tall, dense, creamy baked cheesecake on a graham cracker crust, made the old way with no water bath: beaten on low speed only, baked at 325 degrees for 60 to 70 minutes, cooled for an hour in the turned-off oven with the door propped open. Cups and grams.

Old-fashioned pecan pie: 3 eggs, 1 cup light corn syrup, 2/3 cup brown sugar, butter, vanilla and 1 1/2 cups whole pecan halves in a 9 inch deep dish crust, baked at 350 degrees for 55 to 65 minutes. The wobble test, the cooling time, and why pecan pie runs.

The old potluck dump cake: crushed pineapple, cherry pie filling and cinnamon in a 9 by 13 pan, a box of yellow cake mix sprinkled dry on top, a cup of butter in thin slices, pecans and brown sugar, baked at 350 degrees for 50 to 60 minutes without stirring.

The old-fashioned Southern fresh apple cake: three cups of chopped apples and a cup of pecans in a thick oil batter stirred by hand, baked in a 9x13 pan at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes, with a boiled brown sugar glaze poured over the hot cake.

Old-fashioned frog eye salad: acini di pepe pasta soaked overnight in a cooked pineapple custard, then folded with pineapple, mandarin oranges, mini marshmallows and whipped topping. The family reunion classic, with cups and grams and the overnight step.

The old-fashioned hot fudge pudding cake: a chocolate batter spread in a 9 inch pan, brown sugar and cocoa sprinkled over, 1 3/4 cups very hot water poured on top and never stirred, baked at 350 degrees for 40 minutes into cake on top and fudge sauce underneath.

Old-fashioned lemon meringue pie with a tall meringue that does not weep or slide: a cooked lemon filling poured hot into a baked crust, the meringue spread on right away and sealed to the edge, baked at 350 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes. Cups and grams and the timing that matters.

Plain old-fashioned double crust apple pie: 6 cups of sliced apples, 3/4 cup sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg, baked at 425 degrees for 15 minutes then 375 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes until the juice bubbles thick. Served warm, with or without a slice of sharp cheddar.